Why Women Hate Men - Weasel

The car wreck analogy is somewhat overused but so very true in this case. The basic premise of Weasel's blog - Why Women Hate Men - is that he posts male personal ads that are so unbelievable that at first you think he is making it up. This blog is not for the faint hearted or squeamish. It will make you gag. It will make you gasp in horror. But most of all it will make you cry sweet tears of hysteria. It was hard to choose just one to feature, so you will probably see more pop up in the future.

This is the sort of blog you don't admit to visiting, but secretly are addicted to.


Weasel, I salute you.
Jane


P.S. Don't follow the link if you are at work.


Extremely Suave Redhead Seeking Sophisticated Lady - 21

Why hello there ladies, I am a fiery redhead with a passion for all things sensual. I wish to wine and dine you all night long. Do you find me attractive? Shhh... You don't have to answer now, my lovely. Simply send me a message.

Damon

Damon, the ladies have sent you a message.It reads "Please don't order the cheese, because we're fucking swimming in it."

To most of us, "suave" is defined as "an intrinsically gracious and sophisticated behavioral manner expressed by a worldly, educated and mature individual."

To 21 year-old Damon, suave means "Hey, check me out, I'm sucking down some fucking wicked grapes at Bennigans on top of the Cincinnati Holiday Inn. And hey, I washed my balls with soap this morning."

Hoping to plunge his autumn foliage colored genitals deep into the seasoned vaginas of the 30-something set, Damon attempts to create an aura of elegance and maturity. Unfortunately, the "Fainted Badger" hairstyle courtesy of the Sequoia Nation Supercuts doesn't help, nor does the $98 Men's Wearhouse church suit for boys.

Getting laid is tough enough for a clueless young man that looks like a shoo-in for the lead elf position at Nordstrom's Christmas Village, but Damon must also fight the uphill battle of possessing pubic hair that resembles a burnt Nevada mountainside.

Here's my advice Damon. Stop trying to portray yourself as some sophisticated, worldly intellectual. Drinking wine at 21 doesn't make you an intellectual, it makes you a goddamn pussy. At 21, you're supposed to be ramming house keys into a Keystone Light, chugging it, and vomiting on your Abercrombie and Fitch sweater. Believe it or not, in college that gives you a better chance of getting laid than posting an online ad with a picture of yourself ordering a steamed halibut with carrots.

Every woman over 23 knows you're going to treat her like a beer keg in bed anyway- you'll just pump away furiously until foam spews out of your tap.And that, my friend, will never be suave.